No Fires Today (Because I Put Them Out at 4AM)

Today’s biggest crisis? Logging into Google.

(Yep. That was it. The login screen. The pinnacle of chaos.)

So I’m officially calling it a success.

Never mind the fact that I spent the weekend elbows-deep in outdated machines, broken updates, stubborn printers, and a firewall that decided it had free will.

Everything looked smooth because I spent hours making sure it was.

No one notices when things don’t go wrong—

because I already fought all the gremlins before sunrise.

You're welcome.

Click this. Click that. Install this. Run that. Update this. Reboot that.

Ah yes, the sacred ritual of modern IT.

Every day I wake up, stretch, and immediately begin my daily chant:

“Have you tried turning it off and on again?”

My hands? Permanently in “Ctrl + Alt + Delete” formation.

My coffee? 98% bitterness, 2% thermal paste.

My brain? Running on 3 Chrome tabs, one of which is frozen.

Users be like:

“It just stopped working.”

Oh did it? Did it just stop, Barbara? Or did you feed it malware, deny the updates, ignore 13 error messages, and then scream when it exploded?

I am the keeper of passwords no one remembers, the slayer of printers with free will, and the high priest of “Why the hell is this plugged into HDMI 3?”

Sometimes I wonder…

What if I clicked myself into safe mode?

Would I finally get peace?

But no.

Here I go again.

Click this. Click that.

Pray to the Wi-Fi gods.

Sacrifice a USB stick.

And hope—just hope—the server doesn’t reboot during lunch.

#TechLife #DigitalShaman #CtrlAltPray